


Quiet

by VioletNight_9



Series: Sanders Sides Oneshots (VioletNight) [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, M/M, Remus was mentioned, Sad Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, he's not really in it though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25409353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletNight_9/pseuds/VioletNight_9
Summary: Virgil goes to visit Patton. He talks for a long time
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides Oneshots (VioletNight) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1865167
Comments: 3
Kudos: 49





	Quiet

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Major Character Death, Low-Key Shitty Parent Mention, Mention Of Depression And Past Suicidal Thoughts, Crying, Mention Of Denial, Sympathetic Janus, Implied Sympathetic Remus (He's Only Mentioned)

“Hey popstar,” Virgil started, holding flowers in one hand, a sad smile displayed on his face, “It's been a while. Sorry for not visiting. School has been crazy and uh… Logan's still coping. Well, we all are but uh…” Virgil laughed at himself. “I've never been good at this have I?”

He carefully sat down on the grass, putting the flowers in front of him as he started to ramble on and on about things that had happened that month.

“Oh! Roman managed to land a lead role in Rent. I'm pretty sure he got Mark? I can't remember very well. He got the geeky one.” They sat in silence for a beat before Virgil decided it was too quiet.

“Janus and Remus are moving to Miami. I don't really know why but I'm not sure it's my place to ask,” Virgil looked around for a moment, “There's a lot of memories here. Good and… well you know what I'm gonna say next.”

 _Quiet_.

“I miss you.”

_Quiet._

“I see you everywhere now. At the store, at the house, out on a walk,” Virgil tried to fill the void in conversation with rambling. He laughed at himself again.

“I’m acting more and more like you every day. It's kinda sad but… It's one more part of you that stays with me.” Virgil paused. He didn't want to start crying. But his eyes had other plans.

“We all miss you Pat. Logan wants you to come back. He thinks you're just taking a break from us, but he was _here-_ he saw you.” Virgil stressed.

“I'm not going to say I understand how he feels because we all feel different. But… I thought he'd be able to cope?” Virgil paused. “I want to change the subject.”

He talked for a while. He talked about the puppies at the adoption center Patton used to work at, his new job, the dinner he had last night, et cetera. The conversation eventually fell into a dark tone again.

“Your mom was never the nicest was she? At least I don't remember her that way, if you don't mind me saying. She took it a bit too well if you ask me.” Virgil waited. He knew he wouldn't get a response but he just get it was appropriate.

“You know how I got really depressed for a while after you… left? Well I was uh, I already told you this but I'm not sure I told you the rest. I was thinking of attempting again and your mom, she… let's say she wasn't helpful.” The energy in the air changed quite a bit, promoting Virgil to continue.

“When I told the family they were all mainly there for me, even your dad. But your mom she just… She said I was selfish. Selfish for wanting to leave everyone alone. Selfish for wanting to be with you.” Virgil smiled a bit as the wind picked up. 

“Calm down doll, I'm fine now. I'm not exactly fully recovered, but I don't think I ever _will_ fully recover… None of us will.” Virgil stopped for a moment to take a deep breath, feeling the wind calm a bit, the blowing lingering against his cheeks.

“I don't want to go,” Virgil finally said. looking at the flowers, “I want to stay with you. I know I can't, but I want to.”

_Quiet._

“I wish I could hold your hand again.”

_Quiet._

“I wish I could kiss you one last time.”

 _Quiet_.

“Virgil? There you are, you've been gone for hours! Are you okay?” The voice of Janus echoed through the hollow silence of the cemetery as he walked over to his brother. Virgil didn’t bother to look behind him as Janus’ footsteps came to a stop. 

“Oh, I see.” Janus shifted from foot to foot awkwardly, “Virgil, you need to go home. How long have you been here?”

“What time is it?” Virgil asked, leaning forward to touch the flowers in front of him.

“Six thirty.”

“Three hours.”

“Jesus Christ Virgil, come on, let’s go. You need to have dinner.” Janus said, walking forward and putting his hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “I know you want to stay and… And I get it, but you need to take care of yourself.” Virgil slowly nodded before patting Janus’ hand.

“Give me three more minutes. I just… Just want to say bye okay? Is it okay if I pick up food and go eat at yours?” Janus smiled softly and nodded, mumbling ‘of course’ before turning around and walking to his car.

Virgil took a deep breath and leaned forward, feeling the dirt touch his knees through his ripped jeans. He lightly placed his hand on the grave in front of him and traced the text. _Patton Sanders 1989-2019._ A small smile crossed Virgil’s face, a few tears rolling as he leaned forward and placed a kiss on his name.

“I’ll see you later, popstar. I love you.” 

_“I love you too, Virgil.”  
_


End file.
